Saturday, May 20, 2006
Overheard in Walmart
I think 'Overheard in Walmart' should overtake 'Overheard in New York.' Here's one from today (yes, I shop at Walmart):
"Nah, Tianna's still sick. She's in bed with, uhhhh, I think typhoid fever. She's be sick for a long-ass time."
I'm gonna take a stab at this one and guess that Tianna (Tyanna?) does not have typhoid fever. However, I might be mistaken--it's hard to remember all of the names of my Oregon Trail kids. It's possible that Tyanna is one of them and does, in fact, have typhoid fever. If that's the case, I apologize, T. I'll shoot you a buffalo. But I may not be able to carry all of it back.
"Nah, Tianna's still sick. She's in bed with, uhhhh, I think typhoid fever. She's be sick for a long-ass time."
I'm gonna take a stab at this one and guess that Tianna (Tyanna?) does not have typhoid fever. However, I might be mistaken--it's hard to remember all of the names of my Oregon Trail kids. It's possible that Tyanna is one of them and does, in fact, have typhoid fever. If that's the case, I apologize, T. I'll shoot you a buffalo. But I may not be able to carry all of it back.
Monday, May 15, 2006
More random thoughts
1) My friend Keith links to Daniel Negreanu's blog in his own blog about playing poker in Vegas. Here's Keith's blog which I think is about 100 times better than Negreanu's.
My point here is not to plug Keith, but rather to say how appauled I was to read Negreanu's recent posts. He writes like a 14-year old girl. LOL! Oh my god! We went to Nine at eight! Like, oh my god, totally.
Some sports channel has a poker promo on now that I always see which ends with a clip of Negreanu winning a pot and saying "yes!" with the wussiest lisp I've ever heard from a heterosexual celebrity. I think Negreanu is a fantastic poker player, but dude, think about having a testosterone injection. You're embarrassing yourself.
2) I was driving in Central Jersey today and saw an enormous vulture feasting on a dead deer on the side of the road. I love that I live in the Serengeti. I just learned last week that there is a wildlife refuge about 6 minutes from my apartment. Insane. 55 minutes from the biggest metropolis in the country, and you live in a zoo.
3) The best part of having the baseball package is that I get to see Bernie and Phyl commercials when I watch the Red Sox games. Local furniture commercials are part of the fabric of American society. When Bernie and Phyl stop doing commercials, the terrorists win.
4) Studio 61 will be a hit for NBC, and I will try to watch. This sounds like the first good new show NBC has had in 6 years.
5) Speaking of new shows on NBC, I just watched two episodes of the British version of the Office again yesterday, and there is absolutely no comparison to the American version. The British version is about 100 magnitudes funnier than the American show. The show does a better job of capturing only slightly exaggerated awkwardness than any I've ever seen. Gervais playing off why his employees don't like him is genius every time. "Ah, kissed everyone else but me. Sets boundries. Good head on her shoulders. Didn't want things to get awkward." Really, just watch the episode where he is approached to be a motivational trainer...if you think the show is even close to the American version after seeing that episode, well, I have no use for you as a human being.
My point here is not to plug Keith, but rather to say how appauled I was to read Negreanu's recent posts. He writes like a 14-year old girl. LOL! Oh my god! We went to Nine at eight! Like, oh my god, totally.
Some sports channel has a poker promo on now that I always see which ends with a clip of Negreanu winning a pot and saying "yes!" with the wussiest lisp I've ever heard from a heterosexual celebrity. I think Negreanu is a fantastic poker player, but dude, think about having a testosterone injection. You're embarrassing yourself.
2) I was driving in Central Jersey today and saw an enormous vulture feasting on a dead deer on the side of the road. I love that I live in the Serengeti. I just learned last week that there is a wildlife refuge about 6 minutes from my apartment. Insane. 55 minutes from the biggest metropolis in the country, and you live in a zoo.
3) The best part of having the baseball package is that I get to see Bernie and Phyl commercials when I watch the Red Sox games. Local furniture commercials are part of the fabric of American society. When Bernie and Phyl stop doing commercials, the terrorists win.
4) Studio 61 will be a hit for NBC, and I will try to watch. This sounds like the first good new show NBC has had in 6 years.
5) Speaking of new shows on NBC, I just watched two episodes of the British version of the Office again yesterday, and there is absolutely no comparison to the American version. The British version is about 100 magnitudes funnier than the American show. The show does a better job of capturing only slightly exaggerated awkwardness than any I've ever seen. Gervais playing off why his employees don't like him is genius every time. "Ah, kissed everyone else but me. Sets boundries. Good head on her shoulders. Didn't want things to get awkward." Really, just watch the episode where he is approached to be a motivational trainer...if you think the show is even close to the American version after seeing that episode, well, I have no use for you as a human being.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Britney Pregnant One More Time
Cnn.com, congrats on that headline. Phenominal. I typically hate you, Cnn.com, but that headline is genius.
The actor who plays House should win every TV award for best actor for as long as the show is on the air. Have you heard him speak in real life? The dude has a thick British accent...how is that possible? You're risking your patient's life!
The Ben Stein Ferris Bueller Verizon commercial also wins points in my book. Stein hasn't aged at all in 20 years. Pretty impressive.
I now have accrued over 500 dollars in parking tickets this year. Unreal. I'm a huge idiot.
I probably have some deep thoughts to get out on paper, but...yeah, I got nothin. This was mostly a desperate attempt to keep some readers on board so that, one day, I can actually have some people read something somewhat interesting.
The actor who plays House should win every TV award for best actor for as long as the show is on the air. Have you heard him speak in real life? The dude has a thick British accent...how is that possible? You're risking your patient's life!
The Ben Stein Ferris Bueller Verizon commercial also wins points in my book. Stein hasn't aged at all in 20 years. Pretty impressive.
I now have accrued over 500 dollars in parking tickets this year. Unreal. I'm a huge idiot.
I probably have some deep thoughts to get out on paper, but...yeah, I got nothin. This was mostly a desperate attempt to keep some readers on board so that, one day, I can actually have some people read something somewhat interesting.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
The moment of truth....
I'm just one day away from my personal moment of truth:
How many facebook "Happy birthday!" messages will I get? It's how I judge my life. Five or more...hello self-esteem. One or zero...hello blood, tears and possibly spewing brain matter.
In other news, the NFL Draft was a great time, highlighted by my sitting behind the mothers of Donovon McNabb, Jerome Bettis and 49ers defensive tackle Anthony Adams (they were all wearing the sons' NFL jerseys...they apparently go every year to the draft because it's the place where their lives changed (i.e. got ridiculously rich)).
Also, please try and watch Stephen Colbert's speech at the White House Correspondent's Dinner if you can. The audience non-reaction to his entire 25-minute speech is priceless. Aghast is too mellow of a word for their reaction--the camera did a great job of catching President Bush's consistent scowl (and occasional checking of his watch).
How many facebook "Happy birthday!" messages will I get? It's how I judge my life. Five or more...hello self-esteem. One or zero...hello blood, tears and possibly spewing brain matter.
In other news, the NFL Draft was a great time, highlighted by my sitting behind the mothers of Donovon McNabb, Jerome Bettis and 49ers defensive tackle Anthony Adams (they were all wearing the sons' NFL jerseys...they apparently go every year to the draft because it's the place where their lives changed (i.e. got ridiculously rich)).
Also, please try and watch Stephen Colbert's speech at the White House Correspondent's Dinner if you can. The audience non-reaction to his entire 25-minute speech is priceless. Aghast is too mellow of a word for their reaction--the camera did a great job of catching President Bush's consistent scowl (and occasional checking of his watch).
