Thursday, March 31, 2005
But let's talk about you, darling. What do you think of my dress?
So I was talking with Cappie Pondexter and Mitch Hedberg when Nancy Grace rudely interrupted me with a rant about Michael Schiavo and Scott Peterson. Fortunately, my roommate Mario Vasquez from American Idol came home, and we all smoked a bowl together.
OK, I'm exaggerating a little bit. That didn't really happen. It was a joint instead (ba dum ching!). No, actually, my good friend and fellow blogger Ben Hart (http://axelfoleyscorner.blogspot.com/) told me that someone found his blog the other day searching for Neil Cavuto, whom he referenced (not to be confused with Refference, http://refference.blogspot.com/). So, I've constructed a new blogging strategy: throw in as many "in the news celebrities" as I can and build my readership to lengendary proportions.
It's been a couple days since my last (and first) post--have I already become disillusioned with blogging? A little bit, yes. I'm struggling with the arrogance question--why am I writing this? For myself? To please others? Is reading what I have to say even remotely amusing for others? I certainly feel a blog post should say something, and I wonder if I have something original to say. I even question this rant on being arrogant...are people reading this nodding their internal heads, thinking, "yeah! I've also wondered that..." or are people thinking, "shut the fuck up, you dumb dirty blond bitch. God! Ass-clown!"
Of course, the answer is that people are thinking neither, because I am, in fact, writing this only for myself, as no one is reading. (That's a little Conan humor for you. 'No one watches my show! Haha!' Even though 15 million people actually watch. Similarly, 15 million people are reading this blog. John from Tulsa, what's up, you're on the air. All right my man, good call. Here's two free tickets to the Boston Blazers game).
Sorry, just a little stream of consciousness for you. Mostly for you, Ben, as you're probably the only one who got those allusions.
But getting back to my point...(long pause; Alex tries to figure out a point). Oh! (he exclaims). Yes, my point. Isn't it arrogant...to use the third person in a blog? It most certainly is.
In other news, seems like a lot of famous people have been dying recently...what's the deal with that? I assume the answer has something to do with Jesus. Or, perhaps, Roger Federer.
Hello to all readers who found this searching for Jesus! I can do all through Christ who strengthens me.
I meant searching for Jesus, like, entering the keyword 'Jesus'--you know, to relate to what I was talking about earlier. I wasn't talking about searching for Jesus in the spiritual way. To those who found my blog searching for Jesus spiritually, I pardon you.
Is likening yourself to Jesus arrogant?
OK, I'm exaggerating a little bit. That didn't really happen. It was a joint instead (ba dum ching!). No, actually, my good friend and fellow blogger Ben Hart (http://axelfoleyscorner.blogspot.com/) told me that someone found his blog the other day searching for Neil Cavuto, whom he referenced (not to be confused with Refference, http://refference.blogspot.com/). So, I've constructed a new blogging strategy: throw in as many "in the news celebrities" as I can and build my readership to lengendary proportions.
It's been a couple days since my last (and first) post--have I already become disillusioned with blogging? A little bit, yes. I'm struggling with the arrogance question--why am I writing this? For myself? To please others? Is reading what I have to say even remotely amusing for others? I certainly feel a blog post should say something, and I wonder if I have something original to say. I even question this rant on being arrogant...are people reading this nodding their internal heads, thinking, "yeah! I've also wondered that..." or are people thinking, "shut the fuck up, you dumb dirty blond bitch. God! Ass-clown!"
Of course, the answer is that people are thinking neither, because I am, in fact, writing this only for myself, as no one is reading. (That's a little Conan humor for you. 'No one watches my show! Haha!' Even though 15 million people actually watch. Similarly, 15 million people are reading this blog. John from Tulsa, what's up, you're on the air. All right my man, good call. Here's two free tickets to the Boston Blazers game).
Sorry, just a little stream of consciousness for you. Mostly for you, Ben, as you're probably the only one who got those allusions.
But getting back to my point...(long pause; Alex tries to figure out a point). Oh! (he exclaims). Yes, my point. Isn't it arrogant...to use the third person in a blog? It most certainly is.
In other news, seems like a lot of famous people have been dying recently...what's the deal with that? I assume the answer has something to do with Jesus. Or, perhaps, Roger Federer.
Hello to all readers who found this searching for Jesus! I can do all through Christ who strengthens me.
I meant searching for Jesus, like, entering the keyword 'Jesus'--you know, to relate to what I was talking about earlier. I wasn't talking about searching for Jesus in the spiritual way. To those who found my blog searching for Jesus spiritually, I pardon you.
Is likening yourself to Jesus arrogant?
Monday, March 28, 2005
Hello World!
So, based on the wild success of numerous of my friends' blogs (wild success = I read them every day, including revisiting blogs that haven't been updated in months, hoping that a new post will miraculously appear), I've decided to try my hand at this writing thing. I make only one promise: I will have many parenthetical statements. So, if you don't like a good parenthesis on a warm summer's day, I bid you good day.
Allow myself to introduce....yeah. I graduated from Harvard College at Harvard University in June of 2004th year of our Lord (well, not "our" Lord, but there's about a 98% chance he's your Lord, America...or, a 0.03% chance if you're reading this blog). I did a little sports/humor writing for the esteemed student newspaper known as The Harvard Crimson while attending college and, frankly, miss writing on a regular basis. I've got a good job working for an industrial supplies company (I'm serious...it's actually a good job, especially if you're an Office Space fan) and live in Princeton, NJ.
While I haven't picked a theme for this blog as of yet (I'm debating 'mind-blowing shit'), I do have a topic for this first post: Paul Shirley, a god among men. While it may be odd to reference another blog in a first post, I fully admit that this man is absolutely more interesting than I will ever be. The 12th man on the Phoenix Suns, Shirley has a style much like that of my idol, Bill Simmons (although Simmons was a bit more holy before I heard the sound of his voice...take some steroids, man), but Shirley takes his writing a step further--adding personal touches to his caustic commentary on life in the NBA. Simmons has recently referenced him in a couple of his latest blog posts, which I hope convinces Shirley to begin his own blog. In the meantime, please read: http://www.nba.com/suns/news/shirley_blog.html.
Reading this today at work (only on my break, of course) inspired me to write. Shirley's hilarious honesty and self-deprication is so anti-NBA, I'm shocked David Stern has allowed him access to an nba.com website. I'm also shocked that his teammates haven't ripped him apart for writing this. Of course, I'm reminded of a Chris Rock joke about Kryptonite that maybe explains why his teammates don't care...I'm just kidding! jk! lol! roftl!
(Aside: Pet Peeve No. 1: IM language. Pet Peeve No. 2: People being offended at my inappropriately racist jokes).
OK, that's enough for now. Read Shirley. He's like Nietzche, only taller.
Allow myself to introduce....yeah. I graduated from Harvard College at Harvard University in June of 2004th year of our Lord (well, not "our" Lord, but there's about a 98% chance he's your Lord, America...or, a 0.03% chance if you're reading this blog). I did a little sports/humor writing for the esteemed student newspaper known as The Harvard Crimson while attending college and, frankly, miss writing on a regular basis. I've got a good job working for an industrial supplies company (I'm serious...it's actually a good job, especially if you're an Office Space fan) and live in Princeton, NJ.
While I haven't picked a theme for this blog as of yet (I'm debating 'mind-blowing shit'), I do have a topic for this first post: Paul Shirley, a god among men. While it may be odd to reference another blog in a first post, I fully admit that this man is absolutely more interesting than I will ever be. The 12th man on the Phoenix Suns, Shirley has a style much like that of my idol, Bill Simmons (although Simmons was a bit more holy before I heard the sound of his voice...take some steroids, man), but Shirley takes his writing a step further--adding personal touches to his caustic commentary on life in the NBA. Simmons has recently referenced him in a couple of his latest blog posts, which I hope convinces Shirley to begin his own blog. In the meantime, please read: http://www.nba.com/suns/news/shirley_blog.html.
Reading this today at work (only on my break, of course) inspired me to write. Shirley's hilarious honesty and self-deprication is so anti-NBA, I'm shocked David Stern has allowed him access to an nba.com website. I'm also shocked that his teammates haven't ripped him apart for writing this. Of course, I'm reminded of a Chris Rock joke about Kryptonite that maybe explains why his teammates don't care...I'm just kidding! jk! lol! roftl!
(Aside: Pet Peeve No. 1: IM language. Pet Peeve No. 2: People being offended at my inappropriately racist jokes).
OK, that's enough for now. Read Shirley. He's like Nietzche, only taller.
