Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Halloween...at least it keeps the candy industries in business...
So, I'm writing this post as I sit in darkness in my New Jersey house. Why? Because neither I nor my three roommates bought candy for our trick-or-treaters. So, I'm pretending not to be home so that I don't have to answer the doorbell and say, "sorry kids...no candy here. My roommates and I were too lazy."
I'm kind of surprised Halloween hasn't felt the wrath of health-crazed society, which makes up much of LA and NYC. A holiday that is dedicated to giving out candy can't be helping the fight against child obesity. Giving out candy en masse may be near the equivalent to giving out cigarettes. Eating 20 Mikly Ways in a night (and I DEFINITELY did on Halloween) has to be worse for an eight year old than smoking a couple butts.
While I always enjoyed Halloween, I would be in favor of changing the "treats" to more exotic snacks that were better for you. I'm all for the jobs created by the candy industry that are funded from Halloween, but maybe those jobs would exist at the, oh, I don't know, papaya factory if we changed our culture. I'm not saying we should give out raisins...I mean, let's be clear here: raisins suck. Only a complete loser would give out raisins to kids on Halloween (I remember occasionally getting raisins and being livid). But, even as a kid, if I got a coconut for Halloween, I would have thought that was pretty fucking awesome. Maybe the gift doesn't have to be food...'trick or treat' certainly doesn't require that food be the treat. What if people gave out toys? Or small bottles of Jager? I would have LOVED a bottle of Jager as an eight-year old. And you'd win instant street cred with the kids who smoke on the corner.
Seriously, though, I'm doing my social good for the day by hiding in my living room with the lights out and not answering the door for cute, dressed up seven year olds who get a great thrill from getting candy. I always knew that laziness would be my gift to society.
I'm kind of surprised Halloween hasn't felt the wrath of health-crazed society, which makes up much of LA and NYC. A holiday that is dedicated to giving out candy can't be helping the fight against child obesity. Giving out candy en masse may be near the equivalent to giving out cigarettes. Eating 20 Mikly Ways in a night (and I DEFINITELY did on Halloween) has to be worse for an eight year old than smoking a couple butts.
While I always enjoyed Halloween, I would be in favor of changing the "treats" to more exotic snacks that were better for you. I'm all for the jobs created by the candy industry that are funded from Halloween, but maybe those jobs would exist at the, oh, I don't know, papaya factory if we changed our culture. I'm not saying we should give out raisins...I mean, let's be clear here: raisins suck. Only a complete loser would give out raisins to kids on Halloween (I remember occasionally getting raisins and being livid). But, even as a kid, if I got a coconut for Halloween, I would have thought that was pretty fucking awesome. Maybe the gift doesn't have to be food...'trick or treat' certainly doesn't require that food be the treat. What if people gave out toys? Or small bottles of Jager? I would have LOVED a bottle of Jager as an eight-year old. And you'd win instant street cred with the kids who smoke on the corner.
Seriously, though, I'm doing my social good for the day by hiding in my living room with the lights out and not answering the door for cute, dressed up seven year olds who get a great thrill from getting candy. I always knew that laziness would be my gift to society.
