March to the Sea

Wow...watching Joan Rivers interview young rappers on the Red Carpet is HILARIOUS. In the last five minutes, she has incorrectly introduced all three rappers who have joined her. Her producers (who obviously don't know who is who either) keep handing her the incorrect card and she keeps figuring out that the rapper is not the person she thinks he is WAY too late...She just introduced the last guy, a very drunk, large, 20-something black man, as "Keane," the name of the new British rock band up for "Best New Artists." She called him "Keane" three times before he figured out she didn't know who he was, and, when Rivers finally figured out she had the wrong card, her attempt at passing it off as a joke was horribly awkward. The interview ended with the rapper pretending to be good buds with Rivers and kissing her on the cheek. YES! You just took one in the jugular!

For NBA fans out there, the 2000 NBA Draft has to the best worst draft of all time. Check out this first round:

FIRST-ROUND SELECTIONS

1. New Jersey Nets
PF Kenyon Martin, Cincinnati
2. Vancouver Grizzlies
PF Stromile Swift, LSU
3. L.A. Clippers
SF Darius Miles, East St. Louis, Ill.
4. Chicago Bulls
PF Marcus Fizer, Iowa State
5. Orlando Magic
SF Mike Miller, Florida
6. Atlanta Hawks
SG DerMarr Johnson, Cincinnati
7. Chicago Bulls
C Chris Mihm, Texas
Traded to Cleveland
8. Cleveland Cavaliers
PG Jamal Crawford, Michigan
Traded to Chicago
9. Houston Rockets
C Joel Pryzbilla, Minnesota
Traded to Milwaukee
10. Orlando Magic
PG Keyon Dooling, Missouri
Traded to Los Angeles Clippers
11. Boston Celtics
PF Jerome Moiso, UCLA
12. Dallas Mavericks
PF Etan Thomas, Syracuse
13. Orlando Magic
SG C. Alexander, Fresno State
Traded to Dallas
14. Detroit Pistons
PG Mateen Cleaves, Michigan State
15. Milwaukee Bucks
C Jason Collier, Georgia Tech
Traded to Houston
16. Sacramento Kings
SF Hidayet Turkoglu, Turkey
17. Seattle SuperSonics
SF Desmond Mason, Okla. State
18. L.A. Clippers
SG Quentin Richardson, DePaul
19. Charlotte Hornets
PF Jamaal Magloire, Kentucky
20. Philadelphia 76ers
PG Speedy Claxton, Hofstra
21. Toronto Raptors
SF Morris Peterson, Michigan State
22. New York Knicks
SF Donnell Harvey, Florida
Traded to Dallas
23. Utah Jazz
SG DeShawn Stevenson, Wash. Union (Calif.) HS
24. Chicago Bulls
C Dalibor Bagaric, Croatia
25. Phoenix Suns
C Iakovos Tsakalidis, Greece
26. Denver Nuggets
C Mamadou N'Diaye, Auburn
27. Indiana Pacers
C Primoz Brezec, Slovenia
28. Portland Trail Blazers
PG Erick Barkley, St. John's
29. L.A. Lakers
PF, Mark Madsen, Stanford

Other than Kenyon Martin, who is not an All-Star anymore, there are ZERO good players in that first round...and, beside Michael Redd, the second round is no better...

30 Clippers Marko Jaric G N/A
31 Mavericks Dan Langhi F Vanderbilt
(from Chicago)
Rights traded to Houston for draft rights to Eduardo Najera and a future second-round draft pick
32 Bulls A.J. Guyton G Indiana
(from Golden State)
33 Bulls Jake Voskuhl C Connecticut
(from Vancouver via Houston)
34 Bulls Khalid El-Amin G Connecticut
(from Atlanta)
35 Wizards Mike Smith F Louisiana-Monroe
36 Nets Soumaila Samake C N/A
37 Heat Eddie House G Arizona State
(from Cleveland via Denver)
38 Rockets Eduardo Najera F Oklahoma
Rights traded, along with a future second-round draft pick, to Dallas for Dan Langhi
39 Knicks Lavor Postell G St. John's
(from Celtics)
40 Hawks Hanno Mottola F Utah
(from Denver)
41 Spurs Chris Carrawell G Duke
(from Orlando)
42 Supersonics Olumide Oyedeji F N/A
(from Orlando)
43 Bucks Michael Redd G Ohio State
44 Pistons Brian Cardinal F Purdue
45 Kings Jabari Smith C Louisiana State
46 Raptors DeeAndre Hulett G College of the Sequoias (CA)
47 Supersonics Josip Sesar G N/A
Rights traded to Boston for two future second-round draft picks
48 76ers Mark Karcher G Temple
49 Bucks Jason Hart G Syracuse
(from Charlotte)
50 Jazz Kaniel Dickens F Idaho
(from New York)
51 Timberwolves Igor Rakocevic G N/A
52 Heat Ernest Brown C Indian Hill CC
53 Nuggets Dan McClintock C Northern Arizona
(from Phoenix)
54 Spurs Cory Hightower G Indian Hill CC
Rights traded to Los Angeles Lakers for two future second-round draft picks
55 Warriors Chris Porter F Auburn
(from Utah)
56 Pacers Jaquay Walls G Colorado
57 Hawks Scoonie Penn G Ohio State
58 Mavericks Pete Mickeal F Cincinnati

Bill Simmons, after you read this, give me a shout-out. This draft sucks at a legendary level. Amazingly bad.