Saturday, February 11, 2006
Too much little girl tolerance these days!
I was getting my haircut today and I happened to sit next to a very cute eight-year old girl. She was very talkative and energetic, speaking to her hairdresser and her mom. Amused, I began eavesdropping on her conversations (I must admit, I'm not a big talker during haircuts unless I'm at a barber shop, in which case social conditions dictate that you have a conversation).
To my amusement, this girl was the WORST storyteller I've heard in quite some time. She would continuously start a story and, within seconds, the story would go nowhere.
"My mom...she goes to the bathroom every morning, and she brushes her teeth and takes a shower and wets her hair...[End of story]."
"There's this boy, his name is Billy, he's in my class, and he hates green, and he...[voice trails off, end of story]."
This happened, literally, eight times. Some of the stories were 5 or 6 sentences long, but none had a moral, punchline or resolution of any kind. While at first bemused, I eventually got annoyed. Not really at the stories, per se, but at the fact that the hairdresser and mother were laughing along. Now this girl, who will likely grow up very attractive, will not learn that her storytelling ability sucks. I started thinking that someone should slap a little sense into her, so that she could learn what an important skill storytelling is as an adult. There's nothing worse than a person who thinks he is a good storyteller but actually sucks. A bad story saps the life out of a conversation, no matter how many people are involved. By the end of my haircut, I wanted to punch the little girl in the face. Nothing says "you suck" like a firm strike to the punim. She'd always remember that moment in the hairdresser, when she learned the importance of good storytelling. To ensure that this moment became instilled in her memory, I also would have yelled, "HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW, BITCH!" after striking her forcefully. I wouldn't take the chance that she'd forget our chance meeting and my lifesaving advice.
I'm watching the "trial" runs for the men's downhill event...this is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. Each competitor is trying to time his run so that he finishes as close to "average" as possible. So, Bode Miller keeps going into a full slowdown before crossing the finish so that he can time when he crosses the line to put himself in 15th position (out of 30) for tomorrow.
Why not just have the person who finishes first CHOOSE when he'd like to ski tomorrow? Would that be so difficult? Or does the Olympic Community think the public wants to see the "slowdown techniques" of all the greatest skiers in the world? Mitt Romney, I wish you were still in charge. You're dreamy.
To my amusement, this girl was the WORST storyteller I've heard in quite some time. She would continuously start a story and, within seconds, the story would go nowhere.
"My mom...she goes to the bathroom every morning, and she brushes her teeth and takes a shower and wets her hair...[End of story]."
"There's this boy, his name is Billy, he's in my class, and he hates green, and he...[voice trails off, end of story]."
This happened, literally, eight times. Some of the stories were 5 or 6 sentences long, but none had a moral, punchline or resolution of any kind. While at first bemused, I eventually got annoyed. Not really at the stories, per se, but at the fact that the hairdresser and mother were laughing along. Now this girl, who will likely grow up very attractive, will not learn that her storytelling ability sucks. I started thinking that someone should slap a little sense into her, so that she could learn what an important skill storytelling is as an adult. There's nothing worse than a person who thinks he is a good storyteller but actually sucks. A bad story saps the life out of a conversation, no matter how many people are involved. By the end of my haircut, I wanted to punch the little girl in the face. Nothing says "you suck" like a firm strike to the punim. She'd always remember that moment in the hairdresser, when she learned the importance of good storytelling. To ensure that this moment became instilled in her memory, I also would have yelled, "HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW, BITCH!" after striking her forcefully. I wouldn't take the chance that she'd forget our chance meeting and my lifesaving advice.
I'm watching the "trial" runs for the men's downhill event...this is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. Each competitor is trying to time his run so that he finishes as close to "average" as possible. So, Bode Miller keeps going into a full slowdown before crossing the finish so that he can time when he crosses the line to put himself in 15th position (out of 30) for tomorrow.
Why not just have the person who finishes first CHOOSE when he'd like to ski tomorrow? Would that be so difficult? Or does the Olympic Community think the public wants to see the "slowdown techniques" of all the greatest skiers in the world? Mitt Romney, I wish you were still in charge. You're dreamy.
