Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Two little Indian boys
So I live across the hall from this Indian woman and her two sons...that's Dots, not Feathers. (Incidentally, I think the phrase should be 'Stinky or Squanto' rather than 'Dots or Feathers.' What, no good?)
So, I'm coming home a few days ago and the younger of the two boys (about 4 years old) sees me in the hallway and, despite never having spoken to me before, yelps, 'We're looking for an ogre!' I politely inform him that while I think his quest worthy and noble, I have seen no such ogre. He asks me if he and his seven year-old brother can come in my apartment to take a little looksy. Like all the neighbors, they know about my history of 0gre-hiding. I had to knock on all the doors and tell everyone of my past when I moved in to the complex. It was embarrassing, of course, but up until now, no one had ever called me on it.
So, I let the two nice Stinkys into my apartment. Biggest mistake of my life. Thinking them to be cute and well-behaved, I let them walk into the apartment in front of me. They immediately tear my things apart. One opens the refrigerator door and starts taking out all my food and throwing it to the floor. The older one jumps up and down on my couch and starts laughing at his brother. The younger one then sees a pack of gum I had lying around, tears it open so that all the pieces go everywhere, picks up one piece, unwraps it, puts it in his mouth and spits it onto the carpet a second later.
The younger one races to my electric piano and sits down, banging the keys. Since the piano is not plugged in, the younger one wails, "What's WRONG! Why won't this WORK!" and continues to bang. I tell him it's broken to avoid the would-be cacaphony and start talking to his brother. I find out the older one is named Visham and the younger Val. Visham informs me that he lives with his mom and brother but his dad lives "somewhere else." Visham asks if he can have a gumball from our gumball machine. I ask, "didn't your mom ever teach to not to accept candy from strangers?" and am answered with a blank stare and an outstretched hand for me to place the gumball in.
I give him a gumball and refocus my attention to the little one. Val is walking on the piano keys. He has lifted himself onto the piano and is walking across the keys. I yell and run over to the piano, picking Val up and taking him to the door, telling him he's going to get in trouble. Visham quickly sheds his role of mature brother and goes into my freezer to steal my ice cream. He wants to take it back with him to his apartment. Trying to get the ice cream away from Visham and opening the door so that I can usher both kids out, I put Val down on the ground. Mistake. Val squeezes away from me and jumps back on the piano. I grab the ice cream away from Visham and go back to pick up Val from on top of the piano keys again.
Now I have Val in my left arm and I scoop up Visham and in my right. I slowly am able to open the door and carry both kids out. I knock on their door and politely inform their mother that "it's time for your kids to go home." The mother was in the apartment the whole time, aparently thankful for ten minutes away from her boys.
Val starts to cry about wanting a gumball, after seeing his brother eating his. So, I go back into my apartment and grab the machine, walking back into the hallway (there's no way I'm letting these kids back into my apartment). I open the gumball machine and Val immediately sticks his finger in to get the gum. The little door shuts on Val's finger, causing him to scream. I try to open the gumball door so that Val can take his finger out, but I accidentally lift the door latch up instead of pushing down. This tightens the seal on Val's finger, causing him to yelp, "You're hurting me!". I wait a second or two, applying even more pressure to his finger so that he can feel real pain, and then say I'm sorry and push the latch down.
I give Val his gumball, which he puts in his mouth and then spits on the ground. I waive goodbye to Val, Visham and his mother and double-lock my door.
I think I should have been more direct with their mom...telling her what insane and impolite kids she has. But, I have to assume she already knows all this.
And now I have two new best friends!
So, I'm coming home a few days ago and the younger of the two boys (about 4 years old) sees me in the hallway and, despite never having spoken to me before, yelps, 'We're looking for an ogre!' I politely inform him that while I think his quest worthy and noble, I have seen no such ogre. He asks me if he and his seven year-old brother can come in my apartment to take a little looksy. Like all the neighbors, they know about my history of 0gre-hiding. I had to knock on all the doors and tell everyone of my past when I moved in to the complex. It was embarrassing, of course, but up until now, no one had ever called me on it.
So, I let the two nice Stinkys into my apartment. Biggest mistake of my life. Thinking them to be cute and well-behaved, I let them walk into the apartment in front of me. They immediately tear my things apart. One opens the refrigerator door and starts taking out all my food and throwing it to the floor. The older one jumps up and down on my couch and starts laughing at his brother. The younger one then sees a pack of gum I had lying around, tears it open so that all the pieces go everywhere, picks up one piece, unwraps it, puts it in his mouth and spits it onto the carpet a second later.
The younger one races to my electric piano and sits down, banging the keys. Since the piano is not plugged in, the younger one wails, "What's WRONG! Why won't this WORK!" and continues to bang. I tell him it's broken to avoid the would-be cacaphony and start talking to his brother. I find out the older one is named Visham and the younger Val. Visham informs me that he lives with his mom and brother but his dad lives "somewhere else." Visham asks if he can have a gumball from our gumball machine. I ask, "didn't your mom ever teach to not to accept candy from strangers?" and am answered with a blank stare and an outstretched hand for me to place the gumball in.
I give him a gumball and refocus my attention to the little one. Val is walking on the piano keys. He has lifted himself onto the piano and is walking across the keys. I yell and run over to the piano, picking Val up and taking him to the door, telling him he's going to get in trouble. Visham quickly sheds his role of mature brother and goes into my freezer to steal my ice cream. He wants to take it back with him to his apartment. Trying to get the ice cream away from Visham and opening the door so that I can usher both kids out, I put Val down on the ground. Mistake. Val squeezes away from me and jumps back on the piano. I grab the ice cream away from Visham and go back to pick up Val from on top of the piano keys again.
Now I have Val in my left arm and I scoop up Visham and in my right. I slowly am able to open the door and carry both kids out. I knock on their door and politely inform their mother that "it's time for your kids to go home." The mother was in the apartment the whole time, aparently thankful for ten minutes away from her boys.
Val starts to cry about wanting a gumball, after seeing his brother eating his. So, I go back into my apartment and grab the machine, walking back into the hallway (there's no way I'm letting these kids back into my apartment). I open the gumball machine and Val immediately sticks his finger in to get the gum. The little door shuts on Val's finger, causing him to scream. I try to open the gumball door so that Val can take his finger out, but I accidentally lift the door latch up instead of pushing down. This tightens the seal on Val's finger, causing him to yelp, "You're hurting me!". I wait a second or two, applying even more pressure to his finger so that he can feel real pain, and then say I'm sorry and push the latch down.
I give Val his gumball, which he puts in his mouth and then spits on the ground. I waive goodbye to Val, Visham and his mother and double-lock my door.
I think I should have been more direct with their mom...telling her what insane and impolite kids she has. But, I have to assume she already knows all this.
And now I have two new best friends!
